November 11, 2007

One And A Half Movies

Yeah, the newspapers are tacky enough to discuss it. The news channels are bikaoo enough to air promos all the time. The remaining channels are zonked enough to call the goddam "stars" to every reality show. It's time we stood up to this media circus and ignored it all. Ignore it, and they'll automatically fail.

Filhaal, you guys can do that. Ignore the circus. I, on the other hand, shall add my two bits worth to the millions of opinions floating around, and pretend that people read this blog and are affected by what I write.

For starters, let me make one thing clear. Sanjay Leela Bhansali is a genius. A magician. He's achieved the impossible. He's done something that I thought no one would ever be able to do - make a movie that I walk out of in the interval.

Yep, I walked out of Sawariyan. My whole family did, in fact. And there were others leaving the theatre with us who sounded like they were never coming back.

I don't believe in wasting energy on crap movies. But this is a fascinating sort of crap movie. It's aesthetically pleasing - I love the way he's used lighting, though the whole blue-green effect does make you feel like you're swimming 2000 ft under water. And sometimes reminds me of moss and algae. Yech.

The first half is a showcase of the esteemed director's dream city - cobbled roads, gondolas, train chugging through, towers, etc. All very interesting if you're an architect. Or a psychiatrist. Bhansali now confirms my opinion - he seems to only see, not hear. To him, maybe, aesthetics and beauty are a substitute for substance and reality. As, indeed, they are for much of his audience, and he's welcome to that adulation and support. But his movie - just like the "shringar and ghunghat" comments (ref. post below) - proves that all he seems to care for is eyes, not ears or minds. I'm sorry for him.

Anyway, I can't comment on the second half because by that time I'd fled the theatre (to freedom and happiness, let us escape) and headed to the theatre next door where a bunch of friends were watching Om Shanti Om. Got there in time and saw the whole movie.

Maybe it's just that after watching Sawariyan, even Hulchul would be enjoyable. Maybe it's just that I find those digs at the 70s, at Hindi movies, at South Indian movies, hilarious. Maybe at the end of the day, I'm just an Indian who wants to be entertained out of her mind when she watches a movie - "Paisa vasool" hona mangta hai. Maybe shallow ploys (like getting Hrithik Roshan into the movie for a measly 4 seconds) get me excited. But whatever you say, I enjoyed the damn thing.

There's no logic. And the only reason why this is acceptable is because the film doesn't pretend to have any logic. It's jazzy (especially the 70s bit), melodramatic (mostly throughout), and funny. SRK weighs in with a decent performance (Who would've imagined? The man is getting better... the 3rd decent movie in 15 years! Gosh.) mostly because it's the kind of character he loves to play. The best thing about the movie is, I guess, that it spares no one. It pokes fun at everyone and everything, and kudos to Akshay Kumar and AB Jr for being so damn sporting and funny.

Khoya Khoya Chand hasn't released. Aaje Nachle, with gorgeous Madhuri Dixit, hasn't either. What do you have? Om Shanti Om and Sawariyan. No prizes for guessing which one I'll back. (Though Apahij Pyaar and Mind It would be still better.)

Until then, "Shotgun, Murugan... Yenna rascal-a...! Mind it!"

PS - "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Nice touch... But I hate it when people don't get it!

PPS - SRK's six packs and Ranbir's towel - yech. Spare us, please. Former looks like a coolie and latter like an Italian taxi driver.

PPPS (Later) - I love the digs at Sooraj Barjatya, Govinda, Shabana Azmi, Manoj Kumar, actresses' mothers... damn, the list is endless.


indiegurl said...

Oi, I dunno whether this was the effect of giggly friends or holiday-mood or deepika padukone's absolutely wonderful smile, but I loved the movie. Pretty, colourful, kitschy fun that doesnt take itself too seriously. Maybe also because I'm a sucker for good music and loved a coupla songs in it.

Come on, ADMIT you liked it..independently. No comparison with psycho-made saawari-what? movies and all. :-D

Bleue said...

Baba, first off - many congratulations. You watched a movie & a half back to back! You have made me proud..
And your walking outta the theatre is so darned justified! For a movie wherein the 'heroine' (she's Anil Kapoor uncle's daughter..beti dammit!!) dumps the italian taxi driver for Sallu Bhai..& our Italian taxi driver is so smitten by the ghoonghat-girl, he diregards Rani's love..because 'in love, you only give & never expect anythin in return' or something to that crappy extent... I am speechless (& definitely not watchin Sanjay *Neela* Bhansali's over hyped flick-flop)

As for OSO - im in lurrve with all things retro & all the jazz is makin me wanna watch the movie all the more. I shall.. very soon..

You keep opinionating till then, it always makes it easier to decide which movie-tickets to buy! ;) :D

Cheers. Keedas. Peace.

Asterix said...

I disagree with the Madhuri Dixit statement. In the trailer, she looks like an old hag with a huge makeup budget.

And the less said about SRK's abs the better. Zombies in cheap B-grade hollywood flicks have had better looks than his emaciated self.

Tweety said...

Hey, that was a cool take on Saawariya... But I must admit Im not all that pleased with OSO either !

6 packs in 40's isn't alluring enough to pull one in their late 20s to theatres to ogle ;-) But kinda managed to make-it through OSO ! (Couldnt bear to walk out on two consecutive movies for the same of my own reputation ;)

In any case, your posting's hilarious (and highly informative :p) ... Wish I had read it a little earlier :)


aditi said...

:O:O bleue just gave out the ending ...i wanna watch saawariya yea even if its bad and shanti om was awesssssommme yaa...was a spoof on everything ! killer stuff out there...