August 24, 2008

I Refuse To Be Discriminated Against

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I take this opportunity to propose: Our Own Cool Blogging Clique.

clique (plural cliques)
A small, exclusive group of individuals;
Considering that none of us (people who are in "us," know who I mean) are big-shot bloggers, and considering that none of us are likely to ever be more than a bunch of bored, slightly crazy students who blog to embarrass themselves on the the World Wide Web, I suggest we have our own clique.

So, we're not Amit Varma, or Greatbong, or The Compulsive Confessor, or IdeaSmithy, or Falstaff, or any of the Top 20 Indian Bloggers. (Yes, I make arbit rankings. So sue me.) And we're not them, for good reason. But heck, that shouldn't mean we sink into oblivion. I demand my fame in cyberspace now. It's a gross violation of my human rights that I must veer between ecstacy and despair depending on the number of comments each posts gets. I hereby appeal to everyone (Medha Patkar, Rahul Bose, Shabana Azmi, even Maneka Gandhi) to protect my human right to cyber-happiness. Their morchas, however, will take more time than I have (cyberspace has a short memory and an even shorter attention span).

So the quick-fix solution is this: every once in a while, we all link to each other (so everyone gets the impression that lots of people read his blog), we all comment on each others' blogs (Need I explain? Every blogger's self-esteem is linked to comments.) and we all throw in a coupla links to posts of other members of OOCBC. (Please rechristen. I'm fully aware this is a shitty name.) Moreover, we all flatter each other once in a while by asking (on Facebook, or in the comments section, if possible - to guarantee maximum visibility) "Why haven't you been posting recently?" (Don't underestimate this. I got this from a few people recently and it made me very very happy. I love my lukkha readers.)

We are not great bloggers. We are not wonderful writers. We are not enlightened individuals. We are unknown in cyberspace.

But now we have a way to create an illusion. A wonderful illusion that will keep us all happy without making us try to improve the quality of our posts. See? You can write badly and have good stats. (Blog stats, that is. What were you thinking?) To summarise, you can get everything that famous bloggers (deservedly) get, without any of the effort or talent.

In a world where it's duh!-obvious that you can't get something for nothing, I say we have just broken the glass ceiling and proved the economists wrong.

Here's to happy illusions.

People I'm inviting now to the OOCBC: Jhayu (though he's on the way to becoming an actual celeb blogger), Peru (the soul sister who taught me how not having blog stats and assuming a WCS every time can actually make you happy in the long run), Shrey (who blogs madly, then disappears, blogs madly again, then disappears again), Geru (who had a funny blog till he killed it), Kannu (who doesn't like sharing his blog so I won't link it here), Asterix (who blogs brilliant crap, but at horribly dwindling frequency now), Divya (whose blog makes me laugh out loud and wonder how she says the exact things that are in my mind, in almost the exact way I would, except that she's way funnier)... and anyone else who is reading this, feels discriminated against in the blogging world and wants a share of the pie. Bloggers who already get large numbers of comments are welcome too, because then we can get some of their traffic. Celeb bloggers, I'm sure, aren't interested, but this is open to them so that some of the glamour can rub off.

(The pukka bloggers among you, of course, will know why I named so many people and linked to so many blogs. Another desperate attempt to bring in more comments.)

That aside, once the OOCBC is set up (seriously, new name required), I'd like to talk to Arjun Singh. We want special privileges for the chinta bloggers in India. Economic assistance, 11 guaranteed comments per post, 5 seats in every panel discussion about blogs, 3 quotes in every newspaper article about blogs, and last but not the least, 2 book deals at least.

Rejoice. The weak shall inherit the world.


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August 09, 2008

Some Definitions

Absence of hope: The feeling existing in a participant's mind when she realises all the people she ever participated with in any college fest have left college, that now she is the senior, and that she still knows nothing.

Blasé: The adjective used to describe the said participant's state of mind in spite of abovementioned hurdles.