August 24, 2008

I Refuse To Be Discriminated Against

-------------------

I take this opportunity to propose: Our Own Cool Blogging Clique.

clique (plural cliques)
A small, exclusive group of individuals;
Considering that none of us (people who are in "us," know who I mean) are big-shot bloggers, and considering that none of us are likely to ever be more than a bunch of bored, slightly crazy students who blog to embarrass themselves on the the World Wide Web, I suggest we have our own clique.

So, we're not Amit Varma, or Greatbong, or The Compulsive Confessor, or IdeaSmithy, or Falstaff, or any of the Top 20 Indian Bloggers. (Yes, I make arbit rankings. So sue me.) And we're not them, for good reason. But heck, that shouldn't mean we sink into oblivion. I demand my fame in cyberspace now. It's a gross violation of my human rights that I must veer between ecstacy and despair depending on the number of comments each posts gets. I hereby appeal to everyone (Medha Patkar, Rahul Bose, Shabana Azmi, even Maneka Gandhi) to protect my human right to cyber-happiness. Their morchas, however, will take more time than I have (cyberspace has a short memory and an even shorter attention span).

So the quick-fix solution is this: every once in a while, we all link to each other (so everyone gets the impression that lots of people read his blog), we all comment on each others' blogs (Need I explain? Every blogger's self-esteem is linked to comments.) and we all throw in a coupla links to posts of other members of OOCBC. (Please rechristen. I'm fully aware this is a shitty name.) Moreover, we all flatter each other once in a while by asking (on Facebook, or in the comments section, if possible - to guarantee maximum visibility) "Why haven't you been posting recently?" (Don't underestimate this. I got this from a few people recently and it made me very very happy. I love my lukkha readers.)

We are not great bloggers. We are not wonderful writers. We are not enlightened individuals. We are unknown in cyberspace.

But now we have a way to create an illusion. A wonderful illusion that will keep us all happy without making us try to improve the quality of our posts. See? You can write badly and have good stats. (Blog stats, that is. What were you thinking?) To summarise, you can get everything that famous bloggers (deservedly) get, without any of the effort or talent.

In a world where it's duh!-obvious that you can't get something for nothing, I say we have just broken the glass ceiling and proved the economists wrong.

Here's to happy illusions.

People I'm inviting now to the OOCBC: Jhayu (though he's on the way to becoming an actual celeb blogger), Peru (the soul sister who taught me how not having blog stats and assuming a WCS every time can actually make you happy in the long run), Shrey (who blogs madly, then disappears, blogs madly again, then disappears again), Geru (who had a funny blog till he killed it), Kannu (who doesn't like sharing his blog so I won't link it here), Asterix (who blogs brilliant crap, but at horribly dwindling frequency now), Divya (whose blog makes me laugh out loud and wonder how she says the exact things that are in my mind, in almost the exact way I would, except that she's way funnier)... and anyone else who is reading this, feels discriminated against in the blogging world and wants a share of the pie. Bloggers who already get large numbers of comments are welcome too, because then we can get some of their traffic. Celeb bloggers, I'm sure, aren't interested, but this is open to them so that some of the glamour can rub off.

(The pukka bloggers among you, of course, will know why I named so many people and linked to so many blogs. Another desperate attempt to bring in more comments.)

That aside, once the OOCBC is set up (seriously, new name required), I'd like to talk to Arjun Singh. We want special privileges for the chinta bloggers in India. Economic assistance, 11 guaranteed comments per post, 5 seats in every panel discussion about blogs, 3 quotes in every newspaper article about blogs, and last but not the least, 2 book deals at least.

Rejoice. The weak shall inherit the world.


-------------------

25 comments:

IdeaSmith said...

I know at least two of the people you mentioned alongside me (notice the unabashed showing-off?) personally and I know they'd roll their eyes and gape, "Who, me?" at the mention of Top 20 Indian Bloggers. One of them actually goes so far to say, "That's like saying I'm world-famous in Bombay or Bandra or something.."

And dearie, with your proposed 'quick-fix', you've hit upon the ultimate mantra of any blogger A-list or otherwise, so what makes you think you're any less than big-time yourself? :-)

ess said...

Here's to the OOCBC!

Peru said...

Muddu meri puddu! You make me proud yet again, o little one. I quite agree with 'ideasmith' - you're no less than an A-lister yourself, so take a bow.
As for the OOCBC invitation (new name needed indeed) - I'm honoured!

What's a WCS?

LOL - Rejoice. The weak shall inherit the world.

I'm so up for this, I think I wanna blog right now! To happy illusions..! =)

Mercury said...

:) I like your idea.. It is indeed gratifying to find a 'why haven't you blogged in a while' type of comment, isn't it??

I wish I knew (personally) more bloggers.. I'd flatter you with imitation! Sigh, I don't!

I do read your blog as often as you care to post, and considering that I was pointed here by a couple of people with a very emphatic "I think you'll really enjoy this one.." .. You might be pleased to know you're not as unknown as you think ..

All the best with making yourself properly famous .. Although frankly, I like my anonymity, fame can come with a lot of inhibitions.. even in blogosphere!

curlyconman said...

YAY!!! New post. :D

Me amongst your Lukkha Readers huh? :X

Well! 5 overwhelming comments in less than 5 hrs from the time of post should help in bringing you some cyber bliss,hai na?

Hey,are beginners like me invited to your clique? :P

amit varma said...

What is it they say, 'Be careful what you wish for...'

And I don't mean to quibble, but why would one person want two book deals? You're being greedy here, no?

I note that this is the sixth comment on this post. That's six more than I've got all year. So there.

And you, Ideasmith person, when have I ever struck you as modest? Complete slander, all this...

Over Rated said...

I don't even get an invitation to your clique???

At least you get comments. Once, 181 people read one of my posts and not a SINGLE person commented. Not a single fucking person. Pardon my french.

Okay, let's say we aren't that famous yet. So we still retain the "cool" factor. We can pat ourselves on the back and say that we are artists, out of the mainstream, who haven't been understood in their own time.
Like those sucky merchant-ivory movies.

Asterix said...

Oooh oooh! I am so flattered that you pointed to my "brilliantly crappy blog"!! And yes, ME MEE pick me for whatever group you are making. I would love to be part of a mob. Just say when and where, and I will ready for a rampage!

Jhayu said...

Muduu! I'm glad to see you took my advice to heart, and so quick, too! It only took you like a week!

And, I must say, you do me great kindness... Seriously. Celeb blogger? That one had me laughing a while.

And I like OOCBC! You think that's bad? The only thing I could come up with was CBT SOS PTCT.
(Clique of Bloggers Too Self-Obsessed to See Past Their Comment Threads)

And fear not, young'un. Recent trends on my blog show that I'm becoming a major idea-inspiree and a serial linker. So I've bben doing this already.

And I'm sure there are a lot of bruised egos here. Just two book deals between all of us? That's just not cool.

Jhayu said...

make that been*, please.

Ramya said...

Aaah...see? *Unknown People* (we'e another cult, just like the OOCBC, we stalk celeb bloggers, read their blogs while they aren't even aware of our parasitic existence on the planet, and sometimes, we leave a signature) are already reading your blog. And, commenting, no less. What more d'you need to be a celeb blogger?

aditi said...

wcs?
nice..
im lukkhaaa! keep blogging, i'll keep reading and more importantly, keep commenting :)
cheers!

Mudra said...

@aditi, peru: Worst Case Scenario.

@ramya, mercury: Wow, thanks!

@everyone who said I'm almost a celebrity: Yayy. I love you all.

@jhayu: For the last time, it's usually written as Muddu, not Muduu. However, neither is very cool so change it if you want. :) More book deals, more book deals! Join me, we'll pressurise Arjun Singh!

@asterix: Just blog more for starters, yesno?

@overrated, ess: You're both invited! You're on my reading list, for God's sake. :)

@Amit Varma, Ideasmith: *thoda surprised, thoda stunned, so think I'll pass* (Oh, and it's 2 book deals for the whole OOCBC. We definitely deserve that much, considering the degree of discrimination we've faced for centuries.

@no one in particular: Celebrity comments! Yayyyyy!

Ani said...

OOCBC seems like one happy family only ready to eat the pie soon :P
Good idea , I must say.

Keetarp Aidonak said...

maybe we can have a sub-group with celebrity comment-ers, eh?

Pratz said...

Muddu....terrific.....specialized privileges....yeah now we are talking .... [:D]...although u are now less of a celebrity blogger must say......

Pratz said...

Muddu....terrific.....specialized privileges....yeah now we are talking .... [:D]...although u are now less of a celebrity blogger must say......

Avionic Spanker said...

cool .. I want in too

nice work

Rukmani Ram said...

whats wrong with OOCBC?

good idea though! (looks like its already working)

Nitish said...

OOCBC? Really ?
Mudra if you wanted to form an elite society {which had me('Geru') as one of its members} you could've at least given me the job of coming up with its name..Fuck, you cant even pronounce OOCBC..
My blog (last seen checking into a motel in Rwanda) thanks you for the honor bestowed upon it..
Hope to see more mentions of me in future(Find attached a Rs. 50 note)

Nitish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nitish said...

http://aes.iupui.edu/rwise/banknotes/india/IndiaP90-50Rupees-(1997)-LetterR-donatedrs_f.jpg

indiegurl said...

HEY!

HEY!!

I'm in the OOCBC!!:-D :-D

This clique has automatically jumped from being a boring ol' OOBC to an OOCBC cos I (ME! MYSELF!)am in it.

Honoured, I'm sure. I'd love to thank my you, of course, and my mumma, pappa, sister, doggy..

:-)

Paradox Philic said...

Can i still join the OOCBC? :P

Damn you are funny!! (See now i did my bit too, i should qualify now, right??)

Erik Monroe said...

make that been*, please.