October 23, 2008

Short Post, So What?

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The easiest way to make a guy do something he doesn't want to do -
"Kyu, teri phat rahi hai kya?" (Inadequate translation: You're scared?)

Also note:
- The number of times this question is asked is directly proportional to the number of guys in a group
- The number of times this question is asked is directly proportional to the stupidity of the action being contemplated by said group

And while the phrase is Indian, I'm sure the sentiment is not. Worldwide, men have done, are doing and will do stupid things because they're provoked by, let's say, the English, or the French, or the Mandarin version of "Kyu, teri phat rahi hai kya?"


Half the wars in the world started because one guy went berserk, and the other guy had people who, instead of giving him ideas on peaceful settlements, were asking him, "Kyu, teri phat rahi hai kya?"

A lot of men gambled, smoked, did drugs and got drunk because someone was asking them, "Kyu, teri phat rahi hai kya?"

A lot of men cheated on their wives because they started asking themselves, "Kyu, teri phat rahi hai kya?"

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PS - What are your happy foods?
(Happy food = Food, the sight/smell of which alone is enough to make you happy. It gives you a sense of fulfilment, a sense of peace, and an enormous appetite.)

Mine are... Idli, aloo poha, cornflakes, corn toast and sandwiches. [Discussing what food I like on the World Wide Web. As you see, this blog is finally going the senile way.]

Anyway, coming back, what are your happy foods? Is my generation still crazy about pizza, or am I middle-aged?

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PPS- All posts with the tag "It's a Gender Thing" are nothing more than light fun. I will poke fun at women too. Be good children and behave yourselves.

October 07, 2008

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Why is it always easier to write, than to say? Easier to SMS, email, and IM than to talk face to face or over the phone and say, "I have a problem with you."

Is sarcastic-droll-rude-online me, really me? An image that I can't possibly carry into real life because it's impossible to say some things to a face.

Is emotional-insecure-me-in-person, too much of me? A reality I'd rather not have people figure out.

Is it the fact that some things, said aloud, would sound downright stupid?

Or is it just easier to communicate with a white window than to have to deal with facial expressions?

It's easier to write an email to say you screwed up and you're sorry, right? Maybe because a delayed response means you don't have to deal with emotions in real-time? Or because you know, subconsciously, it will cause more havoc in your mind if your apology is not accepted?

Is the web-interface an easier escape route? To run from difficult situations, hard things, anger, fear, frustration, nostalgia, love and friendship? To pretend nothing, you know, really matters.

Does adding an "lol" at the end of a message make it seem a little less... intense? Is a smiley really the equivalent of an actual smile?

What would make you happier - a heartfelt thank you online, or one in person?

And what would hurt more - a friendship falling apart online, or in person?

What's wrong with it if it is easier to tell someone - family, friends, anyone - how much they mean to you through the written word? As long as it's being expressed in some way.

Are we scared of not being able to express things well enough in person? Or are we scared of expressing them only too well in non-verbal ways?

Is vulnerability really that bad? Is nonchalance overrated?

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Afterthought: What are personal blogs/entries like this? Yet another escape route from emotions? Or simply a medium to express what could be a universal phenomenon, with no solution?

Apologies to the people who came here looking for fun posts. :) Next post will lampoon Yash Raj, SRK, reality TV and anything else you want. :D

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October 01, 2008

How To Buy Bags

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The Guy Way:
Think of the number of things your bag has to hold, then go and buy a bag that would accommodate those with some room left over.

The Girl Way:
Buy a bag of any size. Put all your stuff into it. Usually, 2 things can happen:
a. It's too small
b. It's too big
(Note: If it's just the right size, something has to be wrong - colour, pattern, texture, style, strap - and because of this it will be rejected.)

If it's too small, you can carry around only the things you can't do without. To figure out the things you can't do without is a torturous process so you prefer going back to Step 1 and buying a new bag.

If it's too big, you find enough things to fill it up with. Like an umbrella in October. Or books you don't intend to read. Eventually, your bag is populated with things you don't really need, but now you have some weird psychological dependence on their presence around you. You feel incomplete without them. Simultaneously, you're also getting a major ache in the shoulder. So you steel yourself, and go back to Step 1 and buy a new bag.

In all fairness, I think everyone reading this should agree on one thing:
While the guy way is the sensible way to do it, the girl way gives infinitely greater joy to the bag-possessor.

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Disclaimer: This was supposed to be a light post. And before comment trolls come and say it, yes, I am stereotyping, and it's obviously not necessary that this applies to the universe at large.

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