January 03, 2009

In Which We (Temporarily) Say Goodbye

Right now, it's winter. (Bombay winter, so what? It's the winter I louwe.) It's Jan 3rd. It's a month since I posted, and it will (hopefully) be some more before I post again.

This is not a goodbye post. This is a come-back-when-I-come-back-or-I'll-kill-you post.

This was also a post that was supposed to be about most of this. But Peru is my blogger soul sister and beat me to it. :D

Having said that, we move to ordinary business.

Since every newspaper has a "Highlights of 2008" section, we have one too. Except that it's less serious and more audience-centric (meaning, these are the things you saw in 2008 too. Don't lie, most of you weren't following the economy or the politics in Bangladesh.)
1. Himess released yet another movie.
2. Deshdrohi happened.
3. Rakhi Sawant had only 1 item number.
4. Indian Idol, Sa Re Ga Ma Pa, Voice of India, Nach Baliye and about 6 other reality shows launched their 6th / 7th / 8th / 100th seasons.
5. Barack Obama became President of "the US of A". Much joy was had, principally because we have given up hope for our own politicians, so an intelligent, balanced man being voted to power anywhere makes us feel good - like Paradise still exists. Even if it's not here.
6. All Yash Raj films bombed. (Praise the Lord.)
7. Aamir Khan turned into a rhinoceros.
8. Bombay was under siege, and finally we all woke up and said (apparently), "Enough is enough." Newspapers overflowed with Special Features on what Riya Sen, Parmeshwar Godrej and Subi Samuel thought of the attack.
9. Omar Abdullah became CM of J&K. Go, Omar!

What We'd Like to See in 2009:
1. A Himess movie in which he romances Bappi Lahiri. Or Anu Malik, really, we're not choosy.
2. Deshdrohi in theatres in Bombay.
3. More Rakhi Sawant on TV, yelling about something or the other. C'mon. TV's not TV without her.
4. Something useful from Obama. (No, Barack, "Change" is too generic. We still love you, of course.)
5. More YRF films like Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic (I watched this on cable TV. And to those of you who haven't, I promise you, you don't know what you've missed. Your life won't be complete until you watch it.)
6. A normal-sized Aamir Khan. An SRK-like SRK, as opposed to a funny man in glasses. (I have this uncomfortable feeling when SRK actually acts. The kind of feeling I have when I manage to get a problem right, or when I pour milk from one place to another without spilling it, or when Shobhaa De talks sense.)
7. Less of Raj Thackeray. (Which shouldn't be so difficult considering the man has disappeared post-26/11.)
8. More of Abhay Deol.
9. More of Vikram Chandra on NDTV.
10. More of Sansani! (This is on Star News. Again, those who haven't seen, you don't know what you've missed.)

And the Utter Bullshit Award of the Year goes to... MTV. (I'm sorry, there's just too much here for it to not have its own section).

They started off with Roadies 5. That's fine. High drama, lots of swearing, mock fights, but that's the crap reality TV is made of anyway. We love it.

Somewhere in the middle, Splitsvilla and Teen Drama Queen happened. If you don't know what I'm talking about, thank your lucky stars because those were the most cringeworthy shows in recent times on TV. Worse than Big(g?) Boss, Indian Idol & Ekta Kapoor's shows put together.

You'd think they'd have got enough flak from the feminists (and just... humans) after these 2 shows. Apparently not.

They started GTalk. (This apparently stands for Girl Talk. The opening sequence has a bunch of female lips talking excitedly, and the sentence "Kitna mazaa aayega na?!" is enunciated in a way that you'd have thought possible only coming from the friend of the heroine in an 80's movie.)

The show revolved around 2 girls from the *hit MTV show Roadies* - no they didn't win, they were just too hot for the channel to let go of after the show - who set up house in Bombay and interview celebrities at home. It's supposed to be casual, what-girls-talk-about-at-slumber-parties kinda atmosphere.

Except that it's not. Ask me. What goes on at slumber parties is either too boring or too WTF (or too scandalous) to be on TV. They chose boring.

Their celebrities are usually fallen pop stars, starlets, and other VJs. The anchors are bored themselves. The script would put Suhel Seth (on coffee) to sleep.

Also, the whole authenticity thing? Kinda lacking. Because while I hate to break this to some of my readers, girls at home are usually wearing shirts 2 sizes too large, with their hair up in what can't even be a hairstyle, and mismatched shirts and shorts. In fact if they don't have oil in their hair, it's a blessing. They do not - with all due respect to MTV - prance around a bright yellow kitchen wearing bright yellow singlets and perfect navy shorts, with waist-length hair hanging loose.

Yes, I understand, no one wants to see VJs with their hair in a bun. I wouldn't be bringing up this if the rest of the show didn't piss me off so much. Not only is it empty-headed, it's also regressive, stereotypical and pathetic. What in heaven's name could be interesting about Girl 1 telling Girl 2, "I think you've lost a lot of weight..." and Girl 2 tittering and replying, "Yaaaa, but you know, I need to lose more yaaaa..." What, we're making a script out of lines overheard at a cafe now?

Anyway. Having ranted now, I will move on to other things.

I do believe the OOCBC is a success. Comments have risen considerably, and my writing has only deteriorated, so I think I can safely attribute it to OOCBC. Other members, pliss to be sharing feedbacks.

Postlets (as Jhayu calls them) could happen. Full-fledged posts you can expect when I'm back (yes, this is a marketing gimmick. So what?):
- 4 years in college, and 4 seasons of college fests
- The Random Nonsense in CA Class (and why I might just actually miss it!)
- Uday Chopra to Turn Director
- Vivaah - A Movie to Watch
- Renuka Chowdhury ko gussa kyon aata hai?
- Sanjay Leela Bhansali and Why I Hate Him
- Other random ramblings, rants, and some crap. (In short, this blog will be what it has always been for 2 years.)

To everyone... Till next time, then, be good. :)


Pratz said...

looking fwd to more posts

Jhayu said...

Just a few things:
1. Rakhi Sawant had just one item number this past year?
2. It's a real shame Deshdrohi didn't get the welcome it deserved. I REALLY wanted to see Kamaal R Khan's performance.
3. Dare I construe point #6 of the things to expect in 2009 to mean your (however grudging) acceptance of Rab Ne...?
4. Did I get subtle references to OLLO in points # 8 and # 10? If so, it's a first for me, do let me know. =P
5. You seem to have spent hours on MTV researching for this post. Perhaps even a whole year... Go on... Own up to it!
6. A bright yellow kitchen containing women with bright yellow clothing should have maimed/blinded/driven friggin' insane any people who saw it. How come you're still around?
7. You linked me!!! Yae! All is forgiven, even your liking of SRK over KRK!
8.Who the f@#$ is Suhel Seth?

Peru said...

1. I *heart* winter too!
2. Aaaand I'm in your post! I didn't beat you to it, I just typed faster. Our telepathic hotline was doing overtime on Jan 01, 2009 :D
3. RNBDJ didn't really bomb, you know?
4. Go Omar/ KRK/ Himesh/ Abhay D! (not necessarily in that order)
5. More of Srinivasan (think I misspelt it) Jain too.
6. Who is Suhel Seth?
7. My hair is tied up in a disgusting bun. I think its a little oiled too. Yeh, GTalk is such 'bullshit man'. Google should sue these people. MTV doesn't deserve to be a channel on television. Really, Google should sue them.
8. F-o-u-r. Only one more season to go..
9. We could make a movie on JKSC & the Coconut tree. Seriously.
10. And to complete this comment, Dus bahaane karke le gaye dil, le gaye dil..

Cheers. Keedas. Peace.

Oh & you forgot all about Rock On!! & Farhan & 'Oye!' this year.

Asterix said...

Why the hiatus? Now I have no blog to look forward to! Where will I find my frequent doses of sarcasm and Farhanmania?

In an unrelated note, how much mileage do "smart looking" leaders like Omar Abdullah and Obama get just on the basis of their looks?

Mudra said...

@Pratz: As I said, hopefully no more for the next few months.

@Jhayu: C'mon. You don't miss Rakhi Sawant? What's life without her on TV all the time, telling the world "Mera yeh jo item number hai, woh bahut hi alag hai...". No I don't like SRK. It just seems against the order of the universe for him to act. Yes, ref to OLLO. I'm alive after watching MTV because someone has to live to tell the tale! =)

@Peru: I didn't, but this is mostly a fully faaltu list. Farhan, Rock On, and Oye! would deserve posts of their own. :) Yes, only 1 more season. I was just beginning to get into the groove! Lol. And JKSC - I really think I'll miss it! (Yes, in spite of my pathetic attendance. :))

@Jhayu, Peru: Suhel Seth is some kinda political commentator who used to be on TV a lot after 26/11, looking like he's about to explode into flames.

@Rahul: I have CA Level 2 coming up, and blogging is so horribly distracting that it reduces my already low chances of passing. Fear not, there's a lot of dumb entertainment on the net. :) (Why, btw, do you want doses of Farhanmania? Lol)

And you've got it wrong. Obama & Omar win because of the gift of the gab. It's hard to find politicians who are smart, driven and eloquent. Simple. (Rahul Gandhi, though, would've been a better example for you to choose. :))

[Longest comment ever.]

Pratz said...

few months rite..after that more posts...looking fwd to those...

Dreamcatcher said...

Himess sounds awesome. I am telling this to all my friends, with due credit of course. As they say, I'm lovin it.

Paradox Philic said...

Awww... i just discovered your blog...and i want to read more!!!

Write please , willya??

Paradox Philic said...

Hey you added me in OOCBC...yeay!!! :P

Anonymous said...

The show revolved around 2 girls from the *hit MTV show Roadies* - no they didn't win, they were just too hot for the channel to let go of after the show - who set up house in Bombay and interview celebrities at home. It's supposed to be casual, what-girls-talk-about-at-slumber-parties kinda atmosphere.

of- off...:):) muddu has a mistake on blog!!!!!!!

Mudra said...

@Paradox: Welcome! :D

@Gattu: No Gatts, it should be of. You "let go of", not "let go off". But nice try. :D

Nitish said...


Where have we been?!?!?!

Reading your blog after ages(partly due to my blog ignorance phase and partly due to your low frequency).

*Just remembered..Its 22nd January..Two days later it'll be 24th January (so in the rare case i forget, now you know that i DID remember :P)*

Loved the typical 'Mudra' review of GTalk..Deserves it..Made me laugh..

Waiting for your 2009 posts..

Mudra said...

@Gera: Hopefully no long 2009 posts till June... Thank you for remembering this time round (on the 22nd AND 24th :D) My blog misses you!

Vidooshak said...

Majja aala! This was a fun read. Haven't had a cable connection at home since 2004, been so completely disillusioned with it yaa. Spent that money (and more) on buying DVDs instead. Also, FM used to be a good substitute till they decided to regionalize that as well!

In 2009, I'd just like Taliban to stay in Afghanistan, please!

aditi said...

lol..why hadn't i read this ?!?
it's fun to read mudra :)
keep writing yaaa..

aditi said...

and i didn't mean - it's fun to read, mudra.
i meant what i wrote.

Mudra said...

@Vidooshak: Thank you! And I think I should try that too...! It's a good idea.

Taliban and Taliban clones. Ram Sene, MNS, we have a few of our own.

@Aditi: Thank you, thank you. You've said that before so I understood that. :)

Dishita said...

Simply hilarious!