January 04, 2010

Bits of Hatred - Instalment #4. I Dislike You Instantly If...

...You wear sunglasses indoors.

...You wear sunglasses at all (guys).

...You can't do a thing by yourself (specifically girls). Yes, we all know that a particular brand of helplessness is always attractive to the alpha male (or any male) but seriously, stop degrading yourself.

...You are a dumb person who thinks he's smart. (Yes, unfortunately, it's always 'he' in these cases - I haven't yet come across a blonde who thinks she's smart.)

...You are nosy.

...You are oversweet. (I.e. you treat people whom you've only just met like your bhais and behens from a previous janm *raaaaaz pichhle janm kaaaa*)

...You're chirpy. Now don't get me wrong. Yes, I'm grumpy most of the time. But I do recognise and appreciate genuine cheerfulness when I see it. It's just that that particular version of cheerfulness where you're likely to say, "Oh look! A volcano just erupted! Isn't that fa-a-a-b?!" - it kinda nauseates me.

...You talk about yourself. Seriously, man, get a blog for that. Look at me. I give you the option of not knowing, right?

...You are a couple that wants to tell me everything. (And when I say "couple" and "everything" together, please understand, this means everything! Everything about each, everything about both, everything about what they do, everything about what they don't, everything they think, everything they feel... Seriously, people. Stop. Take a deep breath. Shut up. [Yes, I'm the next Vidhu Vinod Chopra.])

...You make noise in a theatre / airplane. Really, those are the worst places you could choose. Former, because no one wants to hear you. Latter, because people have enough problems just being in an aircraft without listening to you talk.

....You're on a bicycle.

...I think that's it.

Come on. What's your list? :D


I understand that this post departs from the Bits of Hatred format by covering a large variety of people. But I just had to vent. :)

Also read Vir Sanghvi's column about the Bhagat-Chopra fiasco in today's HT (it's not up on the HT site yet, will update when it is).

Update: Here it is. Still not on the HT site - link via Rahul.


Avinash said...

I absolutely hate people who use profanity where unnecessary!

Avantika A. said...

I say cheers to that! Oh and i would add guys in pointy shoes and girls with those teeny-tiny purses that hold one comb and a tissue paper! *shudder*

Asterix said...

Agree with almost all, especially the point about chirpy and over-sweet people.

Disagree with the one with bicycle-riders :( What's wrong with them? At least they are not adding to the pollution!

My bits of hatred:
a) You insist on preferring emotion over logic every goddamn time, and then develop a superiority complex for being "more humane".
b) You are an auto driver who drives away without saying a plain "no".
c) You use SMS lingo
d) You form strong opinions quickly without weighing various details.
e) You think it is perfectly fine to dump 4-years of engineering education immediately after leaving college, and go for an MBA/finance-job. Even worse, you think of dumping engineering in the first year itself!
f) You are an MBA who thinks he is better than engineers just because you think you have 'people skills'. Newsflash: you aren't and you don't. In reality, a monkey would beat you at tic-tac-toe.
g) You think everyone should go by your definition of fun -- extra curriculars, movies, books etc.
h) You tell me that my life is not 'complete' because I don't have a spouse.
i) You tell me that I have improved because I am not that much of an introvert that I used to be. Thanks a lot for suggesting that introverts 'have a problem'.
j) You proclaim that Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid are a drag on the team. You better watch your back!

That is enough spleen I guess :)


Asterix said...

Also, is this is article?


rish said...

"...You wear sunglasses at all(guys)." - so we spend a big chunk of our pocket money to buy those fake ray-bans and this is what we get in return...not fair, miss mehta... not fair at all...

Pratz said...

Heh... Happy New Year :)

koel said...

Agree with Avinash on the profanity part.
- detest people who end every sentence in a chat with hun/luv etc

Aditi said...

You talk about yourself. Seriously, man, get a blog for that. Look at me. I give you the option of not knowing, right?
I always like knowing though =D. You're one of the funnier people out there.
I know why you hate bicycle riders.. because you drive!! And they swerve!! Someone else pointed this out to me, and now I'm scared of them too!
Good stuff. Keep writing...