...You wear sunglasses indoors.
...You wear sunglasses at all (guys).
...You can't do a thing by yourself (specifically girls). Yes, we all know that a particular brand of helplessness is always attractive to the alpha male (or any male) but seriously, stop degrading yourself.
...You are a dumb person who thinks he's smart. (Yes, unfortunately, it's always 'he' in these cases - I haven't yet come across a blonde who thinks she's smart.)
...You are nosy.
...You are oversweet. (I.e. you treat people whom you've only just met like your bhais and behens from a previous janm *raaaaaz pichhle janm kaaaa*)
...You're chirpy. Now don't get me wrong. Yes, I'm grumpy most of the time. But I do recognise and appreciate genuine cheerfulness when I see it. It's just that that particular version of cheerfulness where you're likely to say, "Oh look! A volcano just erupted! Isn't that fa-a-a-b?!" - it kinda nauseates me.
...You talk about yourself. Seriously, man, get a blog for that. Look at me. I give you the option of not knowing, right?
...You are a couple that wants to tell me everything. (And when I say "couple" and "everything" together, please understand, this means everything! Everything about each, everything about both, everything about what they do, everything about what they don't, everything they think, everything they feel... Seriously, people. Stop. Take a deep breath. Shut up. [Yes, I'm the next Vidhu Vinod Chopra.])
...You make noise in a theatre / airplane. Really, those are the worst places you could choose. Former, because no one wants to hear you. Latter, because people have enough problems just being in an aircraft without listening to you talk.
....You're on a bicycle.
...I think that's it.
Come on. What's your list? :D
I understand that this post departs from the Bits of Hatred format by covering a large variety of people. But I just had to vent. :)
Also read Vir Sanghvi's column about the Bhagat-Chopra fiasco in today's HT (it's not up on the HT site yet, will update when it is).
Update: Here it is. Still not on the HT site - link via Rahul.