August 09, 2010

Bad movies are useful when there's nothing to blog about

There are only two reasons you should watch Aisha. One is Amrita Puri, much easier to fall in love with than Sonam Kapoor. The other is that Abhay Deol gets to wear the nicest clothes that any film producer ever gave him, and looks absolutely wonderful.

If you want anything other than these 2 things (a movie, for example) then you will be disappointed. Because Aisha isn't a movie. Aisha is the story of how two rich girls decided that the easiest way to expand their wardrobe (and get money to do it) would be to make a movie and put down all the clothes as costs to the film.

So the film is essentially about shopping (which Sonam Kapoor does all the time) or window-shopping (which you are forced to do all the time, because there is no point in time at which anyone -except Abhay Deol- is normally dressed.)

People get hooked and unhooked to others with alarming speed and by the end of the movie, it almost seems like everyone fancied everyone at some point. I'm sure this isn't true, but at the end of the movie no one really wants to figure out.

Sonam Kapoor seems to have taken over the blonde territory (every movie so far!) at a time when most female actors are trying to find meaningful, woman-of-substance roles. Even the blondeness would be okay if it wasn't so... er... bratty. Or, well, retarded.

The film is also about, well, Sonam Kapoor. Sonam Kapoor eating (diet food), shopping (for designer stuff), talking (mostly bullshit), trying to be cute (ending up looking retarded), gardening (with pearls in her hair), sleeping (with makeup on), fighting with Abhay Deol (and losing pretty badly, because she's dumb and he's hot) and generally making you wish that she would go away and let Ira Dubey, Amrita Puri and Abhay Deol do something useful with a film that seems to be going nowhere, forever.

Many polo matches, shopping trips, blonde women and annoying men later, the movie ends and you can't help being thankful.

I don't know whether the movie is supposed to make you like/identify with Aisha, but if it does, it's probably a case of epic failure.

If it's supposed to give you some kind of exclusive window-shopping experience, it fails rather badly too, because a lot of it looks like the kind of thing that would make even a decent-looking person look fugly.

If it was supposed to show you how the rich/famous of Delhi live, then I'm sorry, but does anyone really care?

If it was supposed to be India's first chick flick, let's face it, we'd rather stick to watching Bridget Jones again. Because Bridget is fat, funny, interesting, has a crazy mom and genuine problems that we can identify with. (FYI, just because your movie is about clothes, it's not a chick flick. Especially if the girls in the audience find the lead actress a complete annoyance.)