February 21, 2011

Dear Restaurants,

Please serve breakfast. Decent breakfast. Breakfast with filling portions for vegetarians. Vegetarians who might not be eating eggs.

Please don't mention on your menu that half a boiled tomato (by whatever fancy name) is part of a dish. In the good old days, people just accepted that it doesn't add value to the dish. Don't pretend it does.

Ditto cream, syrup, butter, jam, a small side salad, a slice of an apple, etc. Basically, if it's tasteless, tiny and usual, it is irrelevant. Yes. I-r-r-e-l-e-v-a-n-t.

Baked beans, when on toast, must be served before the toast has crumbled beneath their weight.

If you're serving baked beans, try to do something to them to convince me you didn't just open a can and empty it on my toast.

Don't rip me off for breakfast. I will hate you forever.

Don't rip me off for breakfast while serving me rubbish. I will come after you with a hammer.

Don't open at 10 a.m. If you want to, don't say you offer breakfast.

Leisurely service could be appreciated by people at candlelit dinners in pricey restaurants (if at all). This is breakfast. I'm hungry. Hurry up.

Don't have a special breakfast menu and an all-day menu which starts at 11 a.m. All day should mean all effin' day. Don't put the good stuff on the all-day menu and save the rubbish for the breakfast menu.

Yes, be snooty and call it continental breakfast. No, don't expect me to give you my life's savings for a bagel.

While we're at it, I don't want a fruit for breakfast. Or a muffin. It's breakfast. Gimme real food.

Places that would do well to take notice of this post: *cough* Salt Water Cafe *cough* Crepe Station *cough* Mondegar *cough* and many many more.

10 comments:

Sushant said...

Hahahaha, too cool! Also, thanks for taking my Unique Business Idea and throwing it onto the internet, where none of your rich gujju veg friends is likely to copy it, hrmph!

Avantika A. said...

Yeowch.

Dishita said...

So true! I was just thinking about eating out and how i have to compromise my taste just because i have vegetarian meal. Btw, welcome back to blogging ;) for a change from micro-blogging.

arayans said...

please get whiny more often.

pri said...

i agree the standard of 'mondegar' is decreasing..
CS is still not that bad though.

but i agree with a lot of points uve mentioned...hmmm perhaps we should post them a copy of this ;)

amit said...

The Marriott breakfast buffet is rather nice, have you tried it? I also love Theobroma (the one in Bandra), but I don't know how good their non-egg things are. You don't eat eggs? Awww, poor thing!

Mudra said...

@Shobhan: Will try. Not difficult, especially when it comes to food. :D

@pri: I agree, CS is quite good for regular food but the variety on the breakfast menu is abysmal. :)

@Amit: Dude, you think I have enough money for the Marriott buffet breakfast?! Have tried Theobroma (Colaba), ended up eating spicy potato in bread. :-\ I've tried eggs, and I hate the taste. So yeah...

relativelytruthful said...

if you are near mondy's why on earth are you not eating at theobroma. listen, i don't know when their 'all day buffet' opens, and i truly apologise to you for being able to vouch only for one egg-based dish, but that dish was FANTASTIC. FANTASTIC. it is called a kejriwal, and if you ever find yourself not put off by eggs anymore, please to be demolishing a kejriwal.

furthermore, slight confusion.. there should be many rasta breakfast options in south bbay no? there a reason you avoid them?

Mudra said...

Because I did try Theo's. Now maybe I chose the wrong thing but same story. :( Didn't know they have an all-day buffet though.

Rasta breakfast? I don't know any, actually. I don't remember seeing any, but then I'm not very familiar with the lanes and bylanes of South Bbay so it's possible I've missed out on stuff there. :(

Vidhi said...

you're really funny :3