Must you be so blonde?
Must you giggle and twirl and pretend to drop your little purse and then say "Oh I'm so clumsy yaa!"?
Must you match your bags with your outfits? And your nail paint, and your hairclips, and your belts? Must you wear the latest in London's fall collection, in India's summer?
Must you let your hair fall over your shoulders when it's 35 degrees? And flip and twirl and bunch up, only to let loose like a waterfall? Even when there are no men around?!
If you are model-thin, must you have a fat friend that you take everywhere? If you are regular weight, must you take one model-thin and one fat friend everywhere? What are you lot trying to be, a life-size before-after advertisement? And to the fat friend - find me, we shall hang. I eat everything so you don't have to be guilty every time you want fries. Seriously.
Must you wall each other on Facebook to make your evening plans? Can't you do it on BBM? (Come on, you all have "a BB yaa!")
Must you parade the nauseating spectacle of your communication with your "besties" and "dolls", with all its "muah babes" and "call me NOW" and song lyrics with little hearts in them? Why aren't you doing it on email or BBM or Facebook message? Is it because you think it's cute? Or because you think that the guys think it's cute?
Must you try to be cute at 20+?
Must you be silly and dumb? And those of you who aren't, must you try to pretend?!
I want to see what you look like in the mornings. Do you sleep with makeup on, in fitted designer clothes and a teddy bear from France that you've named something ridiculous?
I want you to not click pictures:
- in a loo. (Faucets and tissue and bathroom stalls, really?!)
- by pointing your own camera at a mirror. (Get your besties to do it, even if it means returning the favour by clicking 5 of the bestie)
- that are in fake-homo poses. (As they say, you're either there or not there. There is no middle.)
- that are taken at slumber parties which were held for the sole purpose of taking those pictures. (Whom are you kidding?)
I want to see you do something remotely useful. I want you to have a conversation that's not about yourself. And if the conversation is with a man, try and not make it about how smart he is.
I want you to cross the road by yourself, carry your bags yourself, drive yourself or use public transport, and for God's sake, stop expecting someone to rescue you.
Oh well. Wishful thinking.
And I'll do one about guys also, just wait. :P