May 04, 2011

Dear Multiplexes,

We need to talk.

When you came into my life many years ago, I liked you instantly. You had so many screens! And played every kind of movie! And so many show times!

As we grew older, you made me show up 40 minutes early for shows I'd prebooked. I let it go.

Then you started changing. I suffered through it all - 250, 300, 350 rupee tickets. 50 bucks for water. 100 bucks for popcorn. Spending 3 hours with you, at my level of poverty, meant forgoing 2 books.

I withstood your grand entryways and your hole-like exits.

I silently cursed your slow staff and your annoying promotional pieces of glossy paper.

I gritted my teeth through repeated bag-openings, pocket-emptyings and friskings.

But I have reached the end of my patience. Thin edge of the wedge, etc.

In spite of all your faults, I thought we were committed to each other.

But you -you annoying piece of omnipresent shininess- you can't even commit to tomorrow's show!

What moronic idiot cancels shows as and when he feels like, just because an art film is not doing enough business? You have 5 screens and 25 shows a day for a reason, you know!

If you want to screen only blockbusters, why are you part of my life? I'll go back to the old faithful single-screen, no? It doesn't make me wait, doesn't change plans randomly, doesn't subject me to multiple rounds of security, doesn't charge me based on my desperation to watch the movie, seems to care about me at every step and so... well, I think it loves me more than you do!

I think we should start seeing others.

It's not me, it's you.

And FYI, I was lying when I said I like your bright red walls. I think they suck.

Hmpf.

12 comments:

arayans said...

yes,
it's not me it's You.
;)

a traveller said...

It's not us, it's them indeed.

crimsonshadows said...

Single screens also start their shows on time; currently, my biggest pet peeve with multiplexes.

z3phyr said...

brilliant. spot on.

IdeaSmith said...

This post was Facebooked on The Idea-smithy

IdeaSmith said...

More detail would have been good. The name of the multiplex, the movie cancelled, the date & time etc. Most people who read this post will relate to it anyway but it'll just bring in more attention if you speak up with the names. Maybe someone else will share a similar story or stop going to that multiplex. The service provider who treats his customers badly only sits up and takes note when he's hit where it hurts - business.

Indian Home Maker said...

Canceling a movie like this shows lack of concern for viewers, I too would rather not go to such a multiplex and I agree with IdeaSmith above, it's a good idea to give details.

Anu said...

wonderful!! esp that part about cancelling shows just 'cause of art films not drawing audiences.... has happened to me so often, I have to call up and confirm again and again... hate it, but have no other choice if i want to see the film, do I? there are hardly any single screens around, and those that are still there dont screen those movies either :(

Mudra said...

@all - Thanks!

@Ideasmith, Indian Home Maker - I wish I remembered. All I know is, for both "I am" and "Memories in March", theatres that were listing shows one day, suddenly weren't, by the end of the day. This includes Metro, Fame, Cinemax Versova and maybe a few others...

@Anu - Exactly, the single screens are good only for mainstream blockbusters. And I can see their predicament, but I just can't see it for the multiplexes!

amit v said...

Very nice post. Disagree with ideasmithy about detail: specific detail would have cluttered the piece and detracted from its universal appeal and its tautness. Works really well as is.

IdeaSmith said...

This post was Ideamarked in May 2011.

Rambler said...

ah well said..
only problem, my wife is not yet ready to bid goodbye :)