We need to talk.
When you came into my life many years ago, I liked you instantly. You had so many screens! And played every kind of movie! And so many show times!
As we grew older, you made me show up 40 minutes early for shows I'd prebooked. I let it go.
Then you started changing. I suffered through it all - 250, 300, 350 rupee tickets. 50 bucks for water. 100 bucks for popcorn. Spending 3 hours with you, at my level of poverty, meant forgoing 2 books.
I withstood your grand entryways and your hole-like exits.
I silently cursed your slow staff and your annoying promotional pieces of glossy paper.
I gritted my teeth through repeated bag-openings, pocket-emptyings and friskings.
But I have reached the end of my patience. Thin edge of the wedge, etc.
In spite of all your faults, I thought we were committed to each other.
But you -you annoying piece of omnipresent shininess- you can't even commit to tomorrow's show!
What moronic idiot cancels shows as and when he feels like, just because an art film is not doing enough business? You have 5 screens and 25 shows a day for a reason, you know!
If you want to screen only blockbusters, why are you part of my life? I'll go back to the old faithful single-screen, no? It doesn't make me wait, doesn't change plans randomly, doesn't subject me to multiple rounds of security, doesn't charge me based on my desperation to watch the movie, seems to care about me at every step and so... well, I think it loves me more than you do!
I think we should start seeing others.
It's not me, it's you.
And FYI, I was lying when I said I like your bright red walls. I think they suck.